Here’s more negotiation know-how from Ed Brodow, author of “Negotiation Boot Camp: How to Resolve Conflict, Satisfy Customers, and Make Better Deals.”

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Jeff Blackman: What are some typical negotiation tactics the “other side” might employ and how do you combat them?

Ed Brodow: 1. The flinch: “You want how much!?” The best way to combat this, is to keep your mouth shut.

2. The sob story: “I love your product, but I don’t have that much in my budget.” The defense: Either hold firm, (they may just be testing you) or offer a less expensive alternative.

3. The squeeze: “I love your product, but your competitor charges less.” The defense: Differentiate your product from the competitor, thereby justifying the price difference.

4. The assumptive close: They assume you have agreed to their position. The defense: Let them know in no uncertain terms, you have not agreed.

JB: Tell me more about “problem solving.”

EB: Many negotiations fail because one or both of the parties get sidetracked by unrelated personal issues. Successful negotiators don’t take things personally. They focus on solving the problems central to the negotiation. If two negotiators don’t like each other, they have to find a way to rise above personal feelings to make a deal. I’ve seen many negotiations include emotional outbursts but once all the screaming and yelling stopped, both sides would go out for a pleasant dinner. They were able to leave the emotional posturing at the table because they knew it was just business. If they had taken it personally, they never would have been able to reach an agreement.

JB: Why do so many people think a negotiation is an all-or-nothing proposition? You win or lose.

EB: Contrary to popular belief, negotiation is not about winning, it’s about collaborating. Most of my seminar attendees admit they don’t enjoy negotiating. I have always maintained this negative attitude stems from the perception that negotiation is a contest, which can’t be won unless someone else loses. But the thought that someone has to lose can produce anxiety because the person who loses may be you. Some people become consumed by this fear of losing, and that’s why they don’t enjoy negotiating. All of this anxiety can be eliminated if you approach negotiation as a collaboration instead of a contest.

JB: What are the biggest mistakes people make in a negotiation?

EB: I think there are two, at least for Americans. We are impatient and we don’t listen. We want to get it over with quickly. Incredible mistakes are made by people who don’t make better use of time. Negotiators in other cultures, such as the Pacific Rim and South America, understand this better than we do.

Then you have the people who want to talk you to death. You’ll derive greater benefit from listening to what I have to say, than from telling me what you think is important. When you listen, you learn all about the other person’s pressures and you encourage them to want to help you. We all like people who listen to us.

JB: How can one apply these “business” negotiation skills, to daily life?

EB: Fox News followed me with a hidden camera in a shopping mall. They were amazed I negotiated deals on clothing, jewelry, furniture, and even fast food. Last year, I received a $1,800 bill from my doctor for the lab portion of a minor outpatient procedure. I was shocked, so I called the doctor’s office and complained. They called back the next day and reduced the bill to $500. One phone call saved me $1,300.

For more negotiation tips and tactics, go to www.brodow.com.

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Jeff Blackman is a speaker, author, success coach, broadcaster and lawyer who lives part-time on Marco Island. His clients call him a “business-growth specialist.” Send an e-mail to jeff@jeffblackman.com or go to www.jeffblackman.com to subscribe to his free e-letter.